Dear Annie: My parents, both in their mid-50s, have decided to move out of state. The problem is, my mother wants to keep her job here and live with me during the week, commuting to her new place only on weekends. My husband and I have two children, ages 6 and 9, and we don't have room for Mom to stay here comfortably. She insists she can sleep on the couch in the children's playroom.

I don't want to hurt my mother by telling her she cannot live with me, but I certainly don't want to ruin the good relationship we have now by setting up a situation that is certain to cause hard feelings. With summer just around the corner, the kids will be staying up later and making noise while she will want to sleep, and I know this will become a problem. Any thoughts? -- Role Reversal in California

Dear Role Reversal: It's probably a good thing that your children will annoy your mother. Maybe she'll decide your home is not where she wants to be.

Some folks can manage fine with Mom in the house, but the choice should be yours. The two of you are close enough that Mom feels welcome in your home, so you should be able to talk to her about this.

Let her know you love her and want no friction, but your accommodations are such that there is bound to be trouble. She will eventually find the playroom uncomfortable or not private enough, and her warm relationship with the children will suffer. Tell her she can stay now and then, but five days a week is not a good idea. Offer to help her find a better arrangement.

Be prepared for some hurt feelings, but it's better than a wrecked marriage and an estranged mother. Good luck.