Dear Annie: My husband of nine years has a brother, "Daniel," whom I have never been comfortable with, but have tolerated. My husband's sister will not allow Daniel in her home, and another brother will not even speak to him.

Daniel lives several hours away and recently invited himself to visit for the weekend. He brought his new girlfriend, whom we did not invite or want to stay with us. He also brought his two daughters, ages 13 and 3, and left them unsupervised while he slept on the couch or stood outside and smoked. And he expected me to do his laundry.

The worst part is Daniel's foul mouth. Despite reminding him to keep it PG in front of our children, Daniel and his girlfriend constantly talked about sex. He made disgusting innuendos out of everything. On the third day, Daniel swore at my children because they accidentally woke him from his nap. That was the last straw. I told my husband I wanted Daniel out. He left, but refused to speak to me or even wave goodbye. What really upsets me is that the very next day, my husband talked to Daniel as if nothing had happened.

I don't want Daniel in my home again. Furthermore, I don't want my husband speaking to him because it seems disrespectful to me. My husband disagrees. Do I have an obligation to allow Daniel into my home? Am I wrong to think my husband is betraying us by allowing such behavior without any repercussions? This is causing quite a rift. -- Lisa from California

Dear Lisa: Daniel sounds like a creep. You do not have to have him in your home, nor do you have to see him (those are the repercussions), but please don't tell your husband to cut off contact with his brother. That is not your decision to make, and your husband will resent you if you demand it. He can see Daniel on his own.